Marriage + Relationships

Money Matters: Yours, Mine or Ours?

money management

So you’ve finally moved in together and you’ve just finished unpacking all the boxes in your new home, now what? The one thing that nobody really educates young couples about is money management. Prior to getting married, in my culture anyway, the focus is on ‘how to train you to become a good wife/husband’. Rarely to do those conversations dabble on topics such as finances and money management. According to research, money is the #1 cause for divorce. That’s a scary stat! I’ve yet to really understand why people are funny about money and why it is such a taboo subject. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is ours, right? Not always.

I’ve never been the greatest at budgeting, but I’d like to think that I have the right mindset when it comes to saving. After my husband and I moved in together, it became reality that we had new financial obligations that were now our priority. Going from living at home with minimal financial responsibilities to becoming in charge of your own household overnight was a major switch. What we now realized was that money that was once allocated to other mindless things was simply going to be funnelled into our new responsibilities like rent, car payments, insurance, etc.

What was very helpful for us, and still is, was being transparent with one another about money. This included sharing our personal financial goals and past hardships, which in turn helped us to get on the same page and figure out how we would manage our own household. Like my husband always says, the income of two goes further than that of one. Knowing what goals you want to reach together helps you to structure your life accordingly. You’re building for your future together not planning for it separately.

It’s important to decide very early on how your finances are going to be organized. For example, shared operational accounts, shared savings, separate accounts with a joint savings account, etc. Figure out what works for you and the level of transparency you’re comfortable with. Maybe you’re a reckless spender and you’re afraid to open up about that side of you. Or maybe you’re super frugal and don’t want to come across as cheap. 

Whatever the case my be in your situation, it’s important to be honest about it. Call me old-fashioned I believe in the philosophy what once you’re married, all you have it put together and becomes “ours” vs “mine and yours”. I learned this from my parents at a young age and I admired their openness. I strongly believe that it builds trust and security.

I think that once you get in the habit of going 50/50 on everything, where do you draw the line? Are the bills split in half? Groceries? Travel? What happens when a baby is in the picture and one parent takes leave? The list goes on and on. I don’t want to feel like I have a roommate who I just happen to share the same last name with. Its a partnership in all aspects, in our marriage, that is. 

Even amid saving and being money conscious, we don’t allow this to stop us from enjoying our hard work. We’re avid travellers and enjoy going out for meals and experiencing new things. Saving money and having fun can be synonymous.

 

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Related: Three Things I Learned After Living with my Husband

16 thoughts on “Money Matters: Yours, Mine or Ours?”

  1. This is such an important topic. I know so many couples that fight over money. I think it’s really important to be on the same page with your partner. Luckily, my husband and I are!

        1. That’s really great! It’s good to be both be equally involved in important decisions, though you may have opposing views.

    1. That’s really great! People don’t realize the power in having open conversation; its super helpful. Thank you so much for reading!

  2. Great advice. I have always been one to save and we don’t make a purchase unless there is money to pay for it. I’m happy to say that my 23 year old granddaughter has followed in my footsteps and is doing the same thing.

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